Subject: Opsdir last call review of draft-ietf-mmusic-rfc4566bis-34

From: Zitao Wang via Datatracker <[email-masked]>
Date: Sun, 07 Apr 2019 23:37:21 -0700

Reviewer: Zitao Wang
Review result: Has Issues

Summary:    This memo defines the Session Description Protocol (SDP).  SDP is 
intended for describing multimedia sessions for the purposes of session
announcement, session invitation, and other forms of multimedia session
initiation.  This document obsoletes RFC 4566. I think the document make sense
and is written very clear, except some small nits: # In Section 5, there are
several terms that miss references, such as "US-ASCII subset of UTF-8",  "ASN.1
or XDR", etc. # s/session- specific/session-specific/ # Suggest to add tags on
"overview optional items" to identified now-obsolete items, such as "a=cat",
"a=keywds", "k=".

---

From: Paul Kyzivat <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 9 Apr 2019 13:10:58 -0400

Thank you for the comments. I have some questions:

On 4/8/19 2:37 AM, Zitao Wang via Datatracker wrote:
> and is written very clear, except some small nits: 

> # In Section 5, there are
> or XDR", etc. 

There is already a reference to the definition of UTF-8 [RFC3629] in 
section 4.5. Do you think the reference needs to be included with every 
use? The US-ASCII subset of UTF-8 is also defined in RFC3629, so I am 
inclined to use the same reference for that. There are also a couple of 
uses of US-ASCII without mention of UTF-8. I'm inclined to change those 
to "the US-ASCII subset of UTF-8".

Regarding ASN.1 and XDR, I can add references if you think it important. 
But their use is very peripheral, and it isn't necessary to know what 
they are to read the text.

# s/session- specific/session-specific/

Regarding "session- specific" vs. "session-specific":

The context for this is:

"Attribute scopes in addition to media- and session- specific may also..."

The space was intentional so that there are equivalent constructions for 
"media" and "session". The intent is as a shorthand for:

"Attribute scopes in addition to media-specific and session-specific may 
also..."

To avoid confusion I think I'll just change to the latter.

# Suggest to add tags on
> "overview optional items" to identified now-obsolete items, such as "a=cat",

I'm not clear what you want me to do. I guess you are suggesting adding 
something to the first figure in section 5.

I don't see how that would be possible for a=cat and a=keywds, since the 
figure doesn't mention individual attributes. While it is possible to 
add something for k=, IMO it is better to leave that level of detail to 
the complete description in section 5.12.

	Thanks,
	Paul Kyzivat

---

From: Adam Roach <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 9 Apr 2019 12:54:12 -0500

On 4/9/19 12:10 PM, Paul Kyzivat wrote:
> The space was intentional so that there are equivalent constructions 
> for "media" and "session". The intent is as a shorthand for:
>
> "Attribute scopes in addition to media-specific and session-specific 
> may also..."

For what it's worth, Zitao is correct.

RFC 7322 §1:

    The world of technical publishing has generally accepted rules for
    grammar, punctuation, capitalization, sentence length and complexity,
    parallelism, etc.  The RFC Editor generally follows these accepted
    rules as defined by the Chicago Manual of Style (CMOS) [CMOS]...

CMOS 15th ed §7.89:

    "When the second part of a hyphenated expression is omitted, the
    hyphen is retained, followed by a word space.

    "/fifteen- and twenty-year mortgages/

    "/Chicago- or Milwaukee-bound passengers/"

> To avoid confusion I think I'll just change to the latter.

That works too.

/a